Auction Day

Posted on: March 21, 2012

Today is my mother’s birthday. It is also the day our house will be sold at a public auction. I bought that house on my dad’s birthday, April 25th, 2005. We lived in it almost seven years. According to Piaget, all three of  my children were in their pre-operational stage and then their concrete operation stage during these years. According to Erikson, my children were in the Competence: Industry vs. Inferiority Latency stage, which is between the ages of five and twelve years.

I decorated that house, mostly the children’s bedrooms, giving to them what I couldn’t before in the condo and what I couldn’t give them since I didn’t have them yet while my girls were babies. I gave them their special individual rooms with the themes they chose. Sydney wanted Princess and I refused to do a Disney Princess room so I found a “Daughter of The King” border that reminded Sydney that she is a princess in the eyes of her Abba Daddy. She loved that and caught on to that concept which I think helped solidify her confidence. I stayed up all night after painting her room the weekend prior, and lifted all her furniture and toys and such I bought her for that room. It was the eve of her fifth birthday and I stayed up all night working. Once I finished, I quietly moved her into her new room so she could wake up in her new princess room under the princess canopy. I will never forget her response. It was precious. She thought it was magical.

I decorated Katyana’s room with the same zealousness with the help of my fourteen-year-old friend down the street. I had traveled to Siberia with Abbey and we were both very connected. I have so many memories of the girls and Abbey decorating Katyana’s room, especially when we decided to go with the ceiling and paint it. Katyana’s room turned out adorable. She had wanted to continue the Raggedy Ann and Andy theme so her room looked country in the reds and blues and pine. It was so cute.

I made Ethan’s room an all boy’s room with the primary colors and Thomas the Train Engine and Firetrucks… both his favorite during his preschool years. I have so many memories of tuck ins with him in that room.

And then one summer, we decided to re-decorate the kids’ bathroom which was worth it for the fun and laughing alone! It turned into a checkered dragon domain and I was so pleased with it.

So sigh. My house will be bought  today by someone other than me. That chapter on our lives is closing (slowly). I admit I cried a lot yesterday. I think Grief requires crying.

Our dog Moose now lives with our friends who are family in Scottsdale, AZ, doing FABULOUS. He was a special gift given to me by my sister-friend, Jennifer, who passed away eight days shy of a year ago after a long battle with metastatic breast cancer. Jennifer was one of the first people to know and understand my love/hate relationship with my home and it’s hard to go through this process without her. I have SO many things I want to run by her or tell her to seek her wisdom (she was a wise friend). So, with the big lump in my throat and tears down my face, I will get through this day of uncertainty but in the back of my mind wishing she was here physically. She would be the first to burst out laughing if she knew I managed to pull off sending Moose to Arizona with one of the families I respect most in the world. She would be pleased.

Our Simon the Guinea Pig died of old age and bone cancer only a few weeks ago. He was one of the best pets possible. We all took his death hard as it was surrounded already by so much grief. I have told the kids that will be pet free for the time period enjoying the freedom that if we want to go, we will not have to find sitters. As much as we miss our pets, it sounds refreshing to have no pets for a season.

I had a full-time day care in that house for nearly five years. Those were some fun times in my kids’ life and mine. I loved having lots of activity and pitter patter of the feet of young children and babies who were so fun to watch grow.It was a special time indeed.

We had many holidays and some very cool birthday parties in that house, the best one being the girls’  joint birthday celebration “On Broadway” Mystery Menu. The house was excellent for entertaining.

But the house got older, my kids got sicker, and I became overwhelmed by the problems with the bank and with the upkeep of a house that was no longer the house I thought I bought but a damaged house. Over time, I truly began to hate the house and it felt like it was consuming me and my children’s lives.

I wanted that house to be a refuge for friends or family who needed to stay but my feelings about the house became overrun by all of its imperfections and I stopped inviting dear friends over. I missed that part of my life tremendously. I loved having friends stop by and visit.

So, as I head into the day of March 21st, wondering who will buy my home, it is with a heavy heart. But these feelings will pass. It’s saying goodbye to so many memories of my sister-friend, Jennifer, with whom I so strongly link  to my house as well as to the countless memories with my children, our extra-children, and my extended family. Saying goodbye is hard.

But I know I have made the right decision. We came back after a very emotional day yesterday and sat by our new pool at our apartment, met some new folks, and I was so relaxed that it just confirmed I have made the correct decision. We love living in our apartment. We met some folks from Idaho who have lived here for a year and who still feel the same way I feel about this place. I am so pleased. My kids are so happy here. We have an amazing pool, playground, tennis court, basket ball court, ping pong, and a putting green. We have sidewalks and walking paths. It is beautiful over here.

We received God’s favor with the office staff. I was upfront about the foreclosure that caused my credit score to completely bottom out. I had saved and saved and was able to pay the full six months lease at the beginning to secure our new home. It has been another burden removed that we had favor with the office staff and that my low credit score was a non-issue. Prayers were answered in a mighty way.

So, later today our house will no longer be our house yet we are not free of the house. We still have an eviction period to go through which will give me extra time to pack up and move what we will keep and then sell or donate the rest. I want it all to be behind me but until we are evicted, I still am liable for the house and still have access to the house.

All things DO work together for those who trust Him and I know this is what He has wanted for me. My heart longs to be doing something beyond raising three children. My heart longs for the mission field and whether that mission is  local or overseas, that has yet to be revealed. But the Reedette adventure has begun. I have seen the necessities of what our house provided for my kids… a secure place to ground themselves. But the four of us are in this adventure together and we are all excited about the one that is beginning to happen even though on some days, I am nothing more than a weeping lunatic due to so much grief.

A new life awaits us and we are eagerly anticipating as we dream in this two bedroom apartment about what those adventures might be. 

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March 2012
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